Rude Comments

I am putting this post here for inclusion in my future book on conversion. I have previously done posts that I am doing with the sole purpose of inclusion in such a book, and I will continue to do so in the future. Comments are welcome though if anyone sees fit.

1. Are you going to convert your children with you? (they don't even live with me so how is this an issue)
2. You do know there are beliefs associated with Judaism?
3. Can I eat in your house still?
4. Will you still be able to go the movies?
5. How can you stand being with people that think women are inferior?
6. How do you deal with not being a descendant of Abraham yet when you say OUR prayers?
7. Are you comfortable with the OUR G-D language, how do you deal with it being OUR G-D?
8. What makes you so sure this is a good decision for you?
9. What motivated you to want to convert?
10. What are the best fast food restaurants?
11. What does pork taste like?
12. What do you mean you DON'T want to get married?
13. You know that you will never be a REAL Jew right?
14. No one will ever accept you, so just be aware you will never be a real member of the community.
15. Why are you even asking that question no one knows the answer and no one cares.
16. Why did you grandfather marry out, what does he think about you converting? (he died in 1991 I doubt he thinks anything, and he wouldn't approve anyway).
17. What does your family say about this?
18. What will Jesus say about this? (Welcome home my child, after all he was an Orthodox Jew and it's just one Jew to another right?)
19. I am not ready for you to make this change.
20. Why would you want to be Jewish we are one of the most hated people in the world?
21. You do realize people are always trying to kill or otherwise persecute the Jews right?
22. You're pronouncing everything wrong and going about this all wrong!
23. You were attending a Chassidic synagogue why?
24. Don't you know the Chassids are mean and nasty people?
25. Why don't you move to a community that has more converts you'd have more friends and feel more at home there.
26. You want to become Orthodox, I think you'd be more comfortable as Reform or Conservative like I am. (interesting how would someone else be qualified to make that judgment).
27. You go to Sephardi services, you realize they beat their wives every day and they don't accept converts or even Jews that aren't Sephardi right?
28. What does your father think about this, I mean he is a pastor isn't he upset?
29. How does your mother feel about you converting?
30. Are you related to so-n-so? (No, I have no idea who those people are stop asking me, by the way are you related to....the bingo playing must stop..no Dutch bingo and no Jewish Bingo thank you...this is a BINGO free zone).
31. I know the perfect guy for you....
32. Does your future second husband wear a black hat and peyos?
33. You know your husband will only have sex with you through a hole in the sheet.
34. What do you mean you won't touch your husband in public and he won't touch you?
35. You mean you won't hug your father, brother, cousins, uncles etc?
36. What do you mean you won't be eating in my house anymore?
37. You know if you can't eat in my house there will be no point in having you over.
38. You know my rabbi told me such and such, so you will have to do all these things too.
39. You know you will have to cover your hair if you become Orthodox.
40. I think you should reconsider my experience and use it more as a guide for what yours will be. (Right because we are all robots)
41. You know Judaism doesn't encourage converts.
42. Well I think that is a dangerous statement, but coming from you it is probably true.