Privilege

I've had to rethink my thoughts on this topic. I would previously had said any idea that there is privilege for one group over another is crazy. However, having had time to think about this I'd have to say that there really is. I look at what's happening in the world, in my world and I notice that people treat people differently based on the way they are judged for the groups they are part of. Some of these groups you can't help but be a part of, like I can't help that I am a woman or that I am white, I can help that I am a protestant though :). I can't help that these bastards did what they did and it will follow me forever. Forever now I will have to say that I went to that place, forever I will have to look at the broken pieces of what could have been, what should have been. However, there is a new day rising and everything will be fine. The biggest issue of course is that I have been labeled many times, negatively by people that have authority and can manage to use the privilege of that authority. It is my sincere hope that everyone will meet a fate acceptable to their crimes.

Violence

I find myself feeling fortunate and unfortunate on this particular topic. I feel fortunate to be a survivor of the violence perpetrated against me, and yet this is also unfortunate. The unfortunate politics behind violence is that the abuser is always right, the abusee is always at fault and wrong. It seems ridiculous but this is what I noticed time and time again in my life as I tried to break the cycle and get free of the violence in my life. This is also true of every relationship I have with those that created the violence against me. The violence was done by people that politically speaking should have taken a different stance, but they went ahead and they did these things anyway. We find the stances on violence varies depending on the political circumstances. Deciding that genocide occurred in Armenia would piss off Turkey and is a bad political move. It's also not the place of congress but I leave that to my little roo to discuss. It is also bad politics to decide to go into Bosnia, which is why it took so long. Rwanda, which is why so many people died, and of course Iraq which is why that is now a quagmire. Politics and violence often go hand in hand, but who is really managing the other? No one seems to know and in the mean time the situation gets worse and worse. I know for my own life I will never be the same again, but what's a girl to do?

The Politics of Jewishness

This is a strange, and I hope interesting post. Especially if you are a Jewish reader. Over the last two weeks I think I have been asked 40 times "Are you Jewish?" What does that question mean exactly? My initial thought is to say "Yes, through my maternal grandfather" this of course is the wrong answer as to the Jews I am not yet one of them. My second initial thought is to reply "I am who I am, are you Jewish?" and this is also the wrong answer because no one wants to answer the question, my final initial thought is to say "Fuck off" I don't usually give any of these answers. Half the time sensing the pulsating and ripe anti-semitism in the questioners tone I say "Yes I am, is there a problem?" and they usually back way down. Last time I was asked this I said "Why is there a test I need to take?" and the person said they were "Just wanting the information" what makes this question so difficult for me is that I have no doubts that Hitler would have killed me had I been alive for his "final solution". To a lot of people I am Jewish. This is inherently political. Being Jewish carries with it a whole political spectrum I had never before realized. I have loved and been loved greatly by many a Jewish man. I have been pulled out of the fires of hell by others, and yet I never really understood what this question means. "Are you Jewish" this could mean are you ethnically Jewish because you look like a Jew, sometimes it is used to ask if I am a Zionist, other times it is used to ascertain my religious beliefs (in this case I reply that I have no religion). Still other times it seems to be used to ascertain a bigger political picture than if I am a Zionist or not. I don't really care about the Zionists honestly, Israel is alive in the hearts of everyone who loves the people and it will continue to live on long after the enemies have died. Long after Iran is the Jewish Republic of Iran Israel will still be standing and the Iranians will be crying.

My grandfather felt decidedly un-Jewish and so I have been alienated until now to my Jewish heritage. I grew up doing the Chanukah parties and Passover seders with friends of mine, I went to I don't know how many Bar Mitzvahs although I have never been to a bat I understand they are all the same. I have always found Hebrew to be a lullaby to me, and this is still true to this day. As I was put to sleep last week after a rough day by my friend speaking Hebrew. I'm not sure that was his intended result, but perhaps it was since he always complains that I am up way too late to call. Is it my fault there are so many time zones between here and there? Not to mention Jewish time is totally different. I wonder about that too, when I am asked "Are you Jewish?" does it mean I was late? Does it mean I run on my own time zone? I mean I do, I am a New Yorker down to the last bone, and I do run on NY time, and if you don't know what that is I am sorry for you.

This is a very interesting and a very political question at its very core. I have decided to in general answer the question affirmatively. After all I have picked out my Jewish name. I have tried to call my other friend multiple times to apologize and to acknowledge when he told me in 1996 that I have a Jewish soul he knew me better than I knew myself. In many respects I am Jewish. This is a journey home for me, I have started it many a year ago and I hope that soon all these things will be right with the world again. I will be Jewish, my life will be back in order, the world will become a safe place etc.

I have always felt safest with Jewish people, anyone who knows me will know this is the truth. I have never done well in an area without many Jews with which to associate. I carry them with me wherever I go. Anywhere I go if Jewish people are there they will find me, and now I can introduce myself with my new name I guess. Maybe not, I'm not sure entirely how that process works. The truth is I am becoming more and more aware that clearly the answer is yes and I welcome that with all the political fallout that comes.

I think we shall make Jewish republics out of Syria and Iran.

Shavua Tov as abba would say, or good week to those of you not on my remedial level of Hebrew.

Rational Politics

I tried to post on this topic the other day, but apparently it didn't take. I don't remember exactly what my point was in the original post, so please allow me to reintroduce the topic of rational politics. Rational politics came about as an inspired response to something a friend of mine said related to politics being rational, or irrational as the case may be. I responded to this comment by saying that there is nothing rational about politics, politics is extremely emotional and this is the first rule to success within the field. Politics, it is my opinion makes the world go round and if you have been reading my blog you can see why I would say that. Politics is the art of being able to manipulate emotions, not to be able to minimize or eliminate them. I love politics, and politics love me, in fact politics was my first love...my second love knows who he is, my 3rd love threw me out like a used tissue. My 4th love is lurking somewhere no doubt. You get the general idea. Politics also loves my 2nd love, so it is not a jealous creature, in fact both of us have been served well by our mutual love for politics and vice versa. If politics on the other hand, did not love us we would be in some real trouble. Politics that go bad can make all kinds of trouble for a person. Politics governers all areas of life, it keeps everyone in some kind of line, and these lines are not always rational.

One of my Israeli friends for example, the one who inspired this post is getting ready to do IDF duty. Likes to talk about how irrational the military is. The military doesn't get paid to be rational or to think, the military is paid to be the military and in most cases they do it well. This is true of the so-called Black Water incident as well that has people up in arms. Iraq is a combat zone, there are no "civilians" in a combat zone. History teaches us that, because in Viet Nam there were women with baby carriages blowing up the troops. Clearly civilians do not exist in a combat zone and we can't try to rationalize what Black Water should or should not have done. I for one am glad that I am not the one in the combat zone.

Until next time,
Malcot Israel

The Politics of Hatred

What a topic for a Sabbath afternoon isn't it? I was struck by this last night as I've been examining myself and my own issues. I realized there is an entire political genre of hatred in the world and in the country. Watching the early debates and things related to the presidential election here in the US I was struck by the way hatred is invoked. I have also been struck by the way hatred has been invoked in my own personal life.

Globally speaking hatred is used for all sorts of things, it is used to perpetuate violence against my Jewish brothers in the Middle East, and my Arab brothers there as well, it is used to oppress my sisters in Africa, and my sisters in the Middle East and Asia. It is used to oppress children everywhere, and it is used to oppress men everywhere as well. My brothers really need a men's liberation movement whether they want to admit this or not.

What is it about hate that makes it such a powerful political force? I'm not sure, but I've noticed that this is a common occurrence and one that is quite disturbing. This hatred of the other and this desire to make others less than us. I saw a segment on CNN about the diamond mines and how some people stopped wearing diamonds in solidarity with the people, it seems hatred isn't as powerful as people think it is, but it certainly has quite a grip on the political scene.

I would like to challenge all of my readers to examine themselves and the political scene and destroy hatred wherever you find it. Together we really can make a better world.

Politics of the Insider

One of my favorite activities is sitting around watching people in coffee shops. This is because you can learn a lot about people, but also about yourself or the world. People at this particular coffee shop sit around and talk about things, including the woman next to me who asked me how I like my Apple laptop. I had yesterday, a woman ask me why it was so much colder inside than outside and how people freak out about the blue laws here. I'd love to just have an office where I travel from coffee shop to coffee shop, that'd be awesome. I rarely visit this coffee shop because it's expensive and I'm just not into spending money with everything happening, maybe it's my political protest.

I'm trying to find ways to get to places where I can be myself and this is a place of intellectualism, I love it for that reason. This reminds me of some of the coffee shops in New York or Paris, or I've heard J-town or T-A. I can't wait to check out those places. This is also like some of the places in London that people meet and hang out. I guess it's a modern day pub of old.

This raises an interesting concept, last post I was talking about the politics of the outsider. What about the politics of the community? The politics of the insider if you will. This is just as dangerous as the politics of the outsider. I am an outsider, but soon enough that will change when I get my new name and my new life officially starts. At that point I will hopefully become an insider in my own life. What sorts of things will this mean? I'm not quite sure yet.

I imagine my life will be normal someday, and I'll have a dog or maybe two, except with the new breed of dog I want one can't have 2. So a dog, and an established life and everything will return to a sense of peace, calm and normalcy. It will be a political switch for me however, as I have had my eyes opened by this experience.

The Outsiders

Every political system has an outsider. Although, I have somehow become an outsider in my own life. This has been a very strange experience. I feel as if I have been severed from myself, in many ways I suppose I have been. This journey that I am on is really a return to myself in many respects. I was excited to hear from the OU people that they think they have found a community for me. Apparently I am not as alone as I think I am, and I of course wrote my local community since the rabbi there has been very kind to me. I told him I'll send him the email 4 times if he doesn't answer me. I understand tradition is to ignore the first 3 attempts.

I've been an outsider my entire life, which makes this both interesting and uninteresting at the same time. I was born as an outsider, from the beginning I was not what was expected. My parents had been told I was a boy. I can just imagine the shock when they had a girl and 3 weeks early at that. To say nothing of the countless ways I have been a religious outsider and a spiritual outsider.

I was also an outsider I'd imagine as a wife/mother. I am hoping now that in this segment of my life I can finally move from being an outsider, or even a refugee into a different state of being. The book is almost finished, of course our story isn't over so it is difficult to decide how to put an ending to the book. I have a few ideas that I will try out and let abba read it and tell me what he thinks. I'm sure he'll have some comments, I just hope it doesn't completely flip him out considering the nature of the topics and my experiences. He's become my father, but he doesn't yet know everything about me. I know he can take it, but the whole idea of letting someone that close freaks me out. As always I am an outsider when it comes to trust issues.

I am writing my book under my new name. I chose my name with the advice of some others that know me. I find it to be a beautiful name and I am excited about having it. Naturally it's my secret name and if I love you I will tell you what it is, if I don't well...you can't use it either way unless we're in private or with others that know it. I don't want my name being corrupted again by the world.

Those of us outside the system seem to regularly stay outside of the system. It's kind of a frustrating situation. I am OK with being an outsider, but not in my own life. I am trying to find ways to be true to myself and to see myself where I am at and where I want to be. These are the only things that are important, if I am OK with myself everything else is secondary.