My dear friend in the valley and shadows around here has given me a beautiful welcome letter. I love that, almost as much as I love my new life that is blossoming. My newly found abba tells me that I am turning into a new person and I have to agree. It is largely his influence though, like my beloved he carries me when I can't walk and gives me guidance when I can't find my own voice. He's currently observing yom tov I believe or some such tradition. I am sure that I will hear from him shortly. My beloved has also been out of touch, but I am guessing that has to do with either work constraints or his children, seeing as he's not a religious man (much to my dismay, but perhaps he will change his ways).

My friend in Jerusalem gave me some information today on a conversion program, of course it requires that one be involved with a Jewish community for a year or more before one is accepted. I wonder how I will be able to pull that off seeing as there are no Jewish communities here and I am alone in no man's land. I'll have to ask abba what he thinks about that, I'm sure he'll have some advice. I did email the program and asked them about it as well.
The conservative rabbi here wants to meet with me, and a friend of mine suggested that I become a Reform rabbi...honestly neither appeals. Why do anything half way, and besides the only universally accepted conversions are Orthodox. I suppose I can still move under right of return since that has yet to be destroyed, but sooner or later that too will pass and anyway I can't prove my heritage.

This is a long journey home I am afraid, but I have assurances from everyone abroad that this will work itself out. So, as soon as the quagmire clears I will be safe in the arms of those that would always be there even to the deepest depths of hell. I was chatting with an Israeli friend of mine today who asked when I am moving, he wants to go clubbing. I told him that we will have to make arrangements for that, we're supposed to chat in an hour I think, but who knows if he will be around.

Until next time, my ethical dilema is keeping me awake, and I have yet to sort it out. Perhaps the time for wandering the desert is over and things can move forward. At least I know that I am not alone and I will always be loved.