Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Fear

I can't believe it has been so long since I last posted. The reality is I am living in the land of fear, and I have no idea where to cling to now that I have entered it. I am deeply lost in this land of fear I don't know what I will do. I can't seem to get out and I am so wounded that I can't even recognize help when and if it were to arrive. I find myself trying very hard to keep myself on the straight narrow/sane part of things but that's becoming more and more difficult. I feel myself becoming something else, or maybe someone else. I just feel so far lost from myself and who I am, who I want(ed) to be. I find that my gift for guiding others is completely lost on myself during this crisis. I hope that it will be a short lived crisis because there are other things that I need to get done with my life. I don't have time to sit in fear and wait, yet here I am paralyzed by it.

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