So I met with the rabbi on Thursday, at the suggestion of another rabbi I know. In fact I should be sleeping now, so I can get up in the morning and get over to their service, but that's another story entirely. The rabbi asked me when I became interested in Judaism. This hit me with a sour taste because it suggested in my mind some kind of Jewish epiphany. Then he asked me why I wanted to convert, this was less of an irritation and I said what I always say that I feel like I want to be in spiritual sync with myself and that I want to be true to who I am and find G-d. It came out in some really weird ways, but he still got the idea.

I went home with the knowledge that we'd be in touch soon, and I went and read the principles of faith. I didn't have a problem with them, in fact they mostly articulate points of view that I have also articulated from time to time over most of my life. It seems like a natural state of being to me, these principles etc.

He is looking into what the best way to proceed is and will get back to me. He appreciated the questions I had asked about the principles of faith. I didn't ask that many questions, just a couple questions for clarification mostly.

Things are moving along nicely, I don't know if anyone reads this but I'll use this as my journal I suppose so I can reflect back on these things when I go to write my book. Wow, just think I am kind of doing my own passover....

Spring is coming....

Spring has always been one of my favorite seasons. I can't believe that it has been almost two months since my last post. There has been so much happening, and good things at that. It seems so unreal to me on so many levels. When I say this I mean life seems so unreal to me on so many levels. Allow me to explain a little bit, and if anyone out there still reads my blog then I am sure it'll make sense. I have no understanding of who out there reads my blog anymore since I went into hiding and then sort of dropped off the earth entirely.

So, here are some updates on what is going on. I have as previously posted moved into my new apartment. I love my apartment, and I love my new life. It's amazing to me how far I have come, and yet how much further I have to go. My new apartment has a lot of cool features to it, and I will try and take some pictures sometime and put them up. I don't know when I will be able to do this as I am always so busy with other things.

Next, I have one job offer and another interview. The second position actually sounds better than the first, but we'll see what happens. I am hoping I get the second position, but I know I can fall back on the first one if need be. I am very excited that having just moved into my apartment it now seems that I am on the cusp of meeting my professional goals as well.

In addition to these two events of actually getting an offer and having my new apartment be so fabulous, I sent the manuscript for my book to an editor and she absolutely loved it. This gives me hope for being able to get the book published and lets me feel additional things that I haven't quite sorted out yet.

I was supposed to go to a synagogue this morning, but I was incredibly sick with a cold. I can't believe a cold kicked my ass this hard. However, I guess it happens every once in a while. This rabbi was a referral to me by a friend of mine that is also a rabbi in a neighboring state. This allows me the ability to hopefully start working towards my conversion. I didn't tell this to my lover this evening as I know he would rather I not convert and he'll be less than thrilled, but we will of course have to face it eventually.

Brings me to another point, I have a friend of mine that has caused me to rethink my position about good sex not existing. So all of you that tried to convince me that good sex does in deed exist get to win that argument. My friends still think I should get married again but I really don't want to.

Another thing though is that I was hoping at this point in time that my life would be different and that my recovery from all these traumas would be different. Instead it hurts more that the 4th anniversary of the adoption passed and I wasn't able to do anything with or for the kids. However I am trying to let go and not worry about things that are out of my control so to speak. Was that a walking AA commercial?

I have promised some friends that I will write a book about being a preacher's daughter and converting, but I said I wouldn't do it til after my conversion is done, so I will try to post more often about these things as I get to study and prepare and stuff like that. I will also try to post more in general once I get into a more secure routine.

I can honestly say I am the least alone I have ever been, the happiest I have ever been, and I really feel like I am starting to come into my own. I hope things continue on this up swing and that I can manage to get everything out of life that I want and deserve. At least I am glad to be part of a caring community and to begin the process of putting my feet on the ground.